Journal

Friended

By Craig ⋅ February 19, 2009 ⋅  Email This Post ⋅ Post a comment

Amanda is social networking klutz. Overheard from the other room just now, “Damn, I think I just friended someone.” This was said with a mixture of fear, disdain and regret. The social networking system doesn’t matter, because the sentiment is the same no matter what.

It seems my girlfriend likes to play the Internet in god mode, being an impassive observer who wants to tag things she likes, but does not want you knowing, commenting or assuming anything about her based on that fact. The idea of emoting, via icon or otherwise, what a person’s mood might be for that given second baffles her as it rightly should. I’m laughing and nodding with her unspoken questions that I often ask as well, so I’ll address them.

What is up with this digital butt-sniffing we currently accept as a window into our souls? How can you, in good conscience, rant about something horrible that OMG JUST HAPPENED to you, and then step away from your keyboard to return a library book and leave your internet public thinking you are still in the same foul, jaunty, flirty, sexy, witty, confused, overwhelmed, happy, really happy, super happy, cheeky mood you were in just a few seconds ago. Who does this really serve other than…well, you?

What is the statute of limitations on how often it’s socially acceptable to update your Facebook status? If you have diligently posted that you are “at work” every day for the last 9 days between 8:15 a.m. and 8:32 a.m. but then on the 10th day neglect to say so are we to believe you are dead, fed up with it all or otherwise trapped under something heavy?

Can we all agree finally that Myspace has run it’s course and is now only a bastion for the attention-craving young person, introspective emo kid, wannabe up and coming band who thinks it’s their ticket to stardom, drudge-necessity of the already established band who does not want to alienate said young attention cravers, and people who’s days simply are not complete without telling someone, ANYone, “Hey, thanks for the add!”

Facebook is sitting on the biggest, possibly most desirable and costly address book the world has ever seen, yet what would it be without Superpoke and Snowball fights? Where do you draw the line between how much information is too much information? Why don’t you just buy yourname.com and start a blog instead, like every other person on the face of the earth? It’s all about the audience. The aforementioned digital butt sniffing. The canine-like-internet that social networking has created.

So, I’m off twitter that this post exists and to remind people on Facebook that I have a real website, and that they should totally check it out.